My First Post
A few weeks ago, The A.F.I. came out with another one of their 100 Years 100... whatever lists. Back in 1998, their list of the best 100 American movies was pretty noteworthy. I clipped that article out of the paper and tried to make a point to see every movie on that list. I still haven't seen Yankee Doodle Dandy and It's a Wonderful Life honestly bores me to sleep, but for a while I made a concious effort. Well, in what can only be describes as The A.F.I.'s latest "please pay attention to me" effort, they made a list of the 100 most inspiring movies. Some of them (Hoosiers, Shawshank Redemption) honestly belong there. Others are pretty bizarre choices.
#93 A Beautiful Mind
This movie shows that if you're a paraniod schizophrenic, the only cure you need is a hot wife with a huge rack. When Russell Crowe was accepting the Nobel Prize and he looked over and saw Ed Harris, Paul Bettany, and that little girl, I started wondering if they got a discout on their airline tickets because they're a hallucination. This movie inspired me to never see another Ron Howard movie again.
#78 Thelma and Louise
Seriously? They kill themselves at the end. How is that inspiring?
#63 Rain Man
This movie inspired me to go to Vegas and cheat at blackjack. And eat pancakes with toothpicks.
#54 Rudy
God, I hate this movie. That guy is a loser. Back in High School, we had a name for people who wern't good enough to join the football team: Band Geeks.
#30 Lawrence Of Arabia
I'm a bit conflicted on this one. I think this is hands down the greatest movie of all time. But I don't leave the theater wanting to plant a tree or bomb a railroad, I leave the theater amazed that I could watch 45 minutes of people walking from left to right across the desert and not be bored for one second.
#10 Saving Private Ryan
This movie inspires me to go find Ryan's big boobie granddaughters from the very beginning and have them save my private. Yeah, I know that wasn't funny. The point is, other than the boobs and the D Day invasion, the rest of the movie puts me to sleep faster than 750Mg of Vicodin and a fifth of Jack.
#3 Schindler's List
This is the most bizarre entry. Inspiring? What does it inspire you to do? Not kill six million Jews? If the answer to that question is yes, then well, I stand corrected. Otherwise, what the fuck? Don't get me wrong, it's a great movie, but the only thing I want to do after watching that movie is go play with a puppy.
This brings us to the end of my first post. Not a very good one, admittedly, but I'll get better at this. Besides, who's going to actually read this thing?
#93 A Beautiful Mind
This movie shows that if you're a paraniod schizophrenic, the only cure you need is a hot wife with a huge rack. When Russell Crowe was accepting the Nobel Prize and he looked over and saw Ed Harris, Paul Bettany, and that little girl, I started wondering if they got a discout on their airline tickets because they're a hallucination. This movie inspired me to never see another Ron Howard movie again.
#78 Thelma and Louise
Seriously? They kill themselves at the end. How is that inspiring?
#63 Rain Man
This movie inspired me to go to Vegas and cheat at blackjack. And eat pancakes with toothpicks.
#54 Rudy
God, I hate this movie. That guy is a loser. Back in High School, we had a name for people who wern't good enough to join the football team: Band Geeks.
#30 Lawrence Of Arabia
I'm a bit conflicted on this one. I think this is hands down the greatest movie of all time. But I don't leave the theater wanting to plant a tree or bomb a railroad, I leave the theater amazed that I could watch 45 minutes of people walking from left to right across the desert and not be bored for one second.
#10 Saving Private Ryan
This movie inspires me to go find Ryan's big boobie granddaughters from the very beginning and have them save my private. Yeah, I know that wasn't funny. The point is, other than the boobs and the D Day invasion, the rest of the movie puts me to sleep faster than 750Mg of Vicodin and a fifth of Jack.
#3 Schindler's List
This is the most bizarre entry. Inspiring? What does it inspire you to do? Not kill six million Jews? If the answer to that question is yes, then well, I stand corrected. Otherwise, what the fuck? Don't get me wrong, it's a great movie, but the only thing I want to do after watching that movie is go play with a puppy.
This brings us to the end of my first post. Not a very good one, admittedly, but I'll get better at this. Besides, who's going to actually read this thing?
posted by badhatharry at 11:55 PM
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